By Mary Gray-Reeves
Mary Gray-Reeves (Class XXXV), Bishop of The Episcopal Diocese of El Camino Real talks about transition, decision making, and how we share our gifts with the world.
“Everyone comes into the world with a job to do – I don’t mean working for a company, a corporation – we were all given gifts to share, even the animals, even the plants, mineral, clouds….all beings.” “Conflict Resolution for Holy Beings”, Joy Harjo, pg. 126, copyright Joy Harjo, 2015.
I have come to love Joy Harjo’s poetry. Her work, like her last name, which in her native Muscogee tongue means, “so brave you’re crazy”, inspires the reader to consider how they are living in the world. She titled her memoir, “Crazy Brave” where she shares her story of finding her voice in the world. “Crazy-brave.” It is a powerful descriptor.
Members of the American Leadership Forum are people of significant accomplishment. We too can be called “crazy-brave”. In one way or another we have had to discern within ourselves ‘how crazy do I have to be to do this brave thing? How brave do I have to be to do this crazy thing?’ We all have a voice and gifts to share with the world. How we discern them and for what they shall be used, includes a process of inner reflection.
The exercise of discernment is to judge well, making nuanced reflections and decisions about a person or matter. Wise decision-making includes awareness of both the practical, tangible things of life as well as the spiritual, intangible ones. Our inner experience of both realities helps us respond to the circumstances at hand, processing information, both factual and intuited. Practicing discernment when matters are not time sensitive helps us prepare for good decision-making for those inevitable, split-second ‘do-or-die’ moments.
Contemplative and Author Cynthia Bourgeault articulates a helpful discernment process she calls The Four Voices . She uses two basic questions to be asked of four parts of ourselves.
How do I feel about the situation?
What should I do next?
In my own practice of discernment, I invite a third question: “What will this decision ask of me?”
The four aspects of the self are:
Nafs (from the Sufi tradition) or ego – this is the most accessible feeling related to one’s sense of security, “how do I feel?” scared, elated, safe, unsafe… “what is my immediate reaction of what to do?” Run away or close my eyes and hope for the best.
Soul – Cynthia defines this as the core sense of identity generated through the use of emotion, reason, memory and will (St. Thomas Aquinas uses this language). It is the meta-narrative of who we are; our core yearnings, the experiences and preferences that make up our lives.
Spirit – This is the “deeply interiorized voice of our highest spiritual reality”. I understand this as the place within us where a higher Spirit and our spirit work together toward the highest possible outcome of a situation.
Heart – Cynthia notes this definition is hard to pin down because it does not have an ongoing stable identity. Heart operates in context. You can remember a time when the processing of information was not quite lining up; and then suddenly, ‘you just knew’. Sometimes the four voices will be quite different or even polarized, but the heart unifies in such a way that they find their resonance.
A grid could be made to journal one’s experience in each part of the self:
| Nafs (Ego) | Soul | Spirit | Heart | |
| How do I feel about the situation? | ||||
| What should I do next? | ||||
| What will this decision ask of me? |
As we listen to and value what each of our four voices is saying in our decision-making, their conversation can support our forward movement. The balance of how we will need to be ‘crazy-brave’ will be clear. We can be true to ourselves, exercise our voice and share our gifts in the world.
