When I was a new fellow, I felt excitement, anxiety, wonder and that I needed to prove that I deserved to be here. As a soon-to-be Senior Fellow, I am feeling the same way.
I wonder what will become of Class XLII. Will we continue to get to know one another? Will we continue to learn together? Will we support each other?
I am grateful to Class XLII for they raised me this past year. They expanded my worldview, challenged me, and helped me to understand that everyone has a story and a rich history.
After my immediate and chosen family, I consider Class XLII my ‘third’ family – an incredibly important one.
I invite new Fellows to be in this experience. During your journey, pay attention to how you feel and listen for the underlying need. Think about how you want to act upon those feelings and what request you have of your colleagues. After all, each one of us has a choice as to whether we react or respond. Reacting is instantaneous and satisfying, while responding requires thoughtfulness, discipline, and humility which lead to better outcomes.
“My ALF journey was like an ascent up a mountain trail with the vision of the summit in my mind.”
As a middle-aged woman and a member of the LGBTQ community, I expect to be ‘othered’ and have learned to ignore others’ ignorance.
My ALF journey was like an ascent up a mountain trail with the vision of the summit in my mind. Beginning at basecamp all was well. The possibilities were endless and positive. Then, I entered the valley of despair. I had felt hurt by someone’s words. It felt worse as I understood that ALF is designed to enable and empower inclusivity and belonging. However, that doesn’t mean that each of us has perfected the ability to be accepting of our respective humanity.
Suddenly, I believed that ALF wasn’t for me. I was sad and withdrew. I was found out and pursued by staff and a few of my Fellows who encouraged me to speak up and ‘call in’ a conversation. I realized that I didn’t have anything to lose. A productive dialogue ensued and now I am working with that person on a project that will serve the community. I am grateful for the opportunity to navigate a conflict in a way that resulted in a deeper, more meaningful relationship. Together, we reached the summit and the view is incredible!
I learned the power of ‘being’, accepting who I am, how I feel, what I need and how I can engage my colleagues, friends and now, my ALF family, in a dialogue that, while at times may be uncomfortable, results in a better experience for all parties involved.
While in ALF, remember to be, be yourself, accept yourself and others. Engage in courageous dialogue. Be ready to be you and be fully with others. It’s a wonderful, challenging and rewarding journey and I am excited for your opportunity!
Laura Parmer-Lohan is the Former Mayor of the City of San Carlos and a member of Class XLII, which completed its Fellows Program year in March of this year.
